"Fruit" for Thought

Oh friends. My heart and head have been spinning all day with thoughts and revelations, and I simply must type them out to put my mind at ease. This morning we had a beautiful candle service to celebrate the coming of our King, and Pastor Troy was reading from a passage concerning “light” that reminded me of two separate passages:

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14 

… which spurred me on to the verse:

“You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?” Matthew 7:16

And I began to think...dangerous, I know… But I began to ask myself -- what kind of fruit am I bearing? Is the Jesus I say I serve, and the spiritual fruit being produced in my life reflective of who Jesus really is? By living my life, do people want my Jesus? It’s a humbling thought, because I had to answer honestly, not always.

We live in an independent, “don’t judge me,” “this is my life” type of society. But the sheer reality is, people make judgements all the time. We judge which babysitter is worthy of caring for our children. We judge which spouse we will take, or who we will date. We judge whether or not to trust someone. We judge people, things, ourselves. As Christians, we know we will be judged, even condemned, for our faith. Which brings me back to the question that haunted me all day… What Jesus am I showing through my life? What fruits in my life are present, amidst judgement and persecution and the distractions of everyday life that point to my Savior? Am I a testament of grace? Of joy? Of understanding? Of telling the truth in love? Or am I instead a testament of complacency and self-reliance -- am I simply a good person??

As the new year approaches and as we celebrate the beginning of our Savior’s journey to the cross, take a moment to think, to really confront yourself, what Jesus am I showing?? The results may be humbling, but if they will know us by our fruits, shouldn’t we start being dangerously aware of how we help people encounter our Jesus??

Merry Christmas, dear friends, and may this season challenge you as much as it blesses you. Remember that without God’s sacrifice, there would be no celebration.

Rep.

Lessons...

There is nothing quite so maddening as having an entire post typed, and then all get erased...here is my second go around...

Sometimes life just stinks. Can you relate? Sometimes you look at situations in your life and you think how in the world did it get to this point? Am I alone in this?

My best friends and I have started holding each other accountable on a frequent basis. As new mamas, it's hard sometime to fit everything in a single day, and we were tired of not making our devotional times a priority. This has been a great challenge to me, as I have learned to form new habits and time management skills, but the greatest result has been watching how faithful the Lord is to meet me right where I am. Here's what he's been teaching me in some unexpected places, like the books of Hosea and Amos...

We have mostly all been told at one time or another that God's love is undeniable. That it is powerful. That it is all-covering, forgiving. And don't get me wrong, I love this aspect of God. But the Lord had other lessons to teach me these past few weeks. Just as God is love, God is justice. Yes, God will judge you. And he is not going to judge you by your own standards. He's going to judge you, me, us by HIS standards, despite our American mentality of "anything goes." Reading through Hosea and Amos, people who denied God went through some pretty wild stuff. And worse than the wild stuff? Those people were separated from God. They were separated from the love that is so characteristic of God. God pursues us even when we run from him, but he also promises punishment if we do not turn from our sinfulness. That's lesson one.

Lesson two: Because God is just, he promises to vindicate his people. God knows when someone wrongs you. He knows when someone makes a wrong assumption about you. If you are serving him, be promises to vindicate you. Normally I used the word "save" because it was a churchy word, but I have fallen in love with this word vindicate. I don't want to be saved from my sin, or from people who sin against me, I want to be vindicated! I want to grow and change and thrive! Jesus promises us that he will do that. Love and justice go hand in hand. 

Lesson three. Okay. So lesson one and two were all fine and good. But I still felt like sometimes life just stinks. And you know what? It always will. We live in a world corrupted by the sinful hearts of mankind, and that will never change until the Lord's return. And my heart felt so heavy at the realization that there are some things in my life that may never be resolved this side of eternity.  That brought so much sadness to my already-aching heart. As I have been praying I have been really trying to relinquish my anxiety and truly cast my cares upon my Lord. And tonight, it finally clicked. Last week my mom bought me a MudLove bracelet that says Esperanza on it, which means hope. As I was praying, I caught a glimpse of my bracelet (since I write out my prayers and I wear my bracelet on my right hand). This word, this one word, finally put together the pieces I had been learning the past few weeks. The Lord loves me. The Lord will vindicate me. My timing is not the timeline by which he works. I have to trust... to hope... in the promises that he has left for me. This simple realization changed the way I prayed tonight after a few days of higher levels of anxiety than I was comfortable with --

                           

                               "Lord, let your hope- your esperanza - shine in my dark places." 

We all have dark places. We all have hurts. We all have baggage.  And we all have to answer for the sins that are not covered in blood through confession to God. But above all, we all have hope. And for now, for tonight, that is all my hurting heart needs to know. 

What is the Lord teaching you this week?

Open Hands.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a political post. These are thoughts swirling around in my whimsical brain that may or may not make any sense to anyone but myself.

I was asked to lead worship on an upcoming Sunday as my worship leader will be out of town. I said yes, albeit reluctantly, as I have always considered myself more of a "behind-the-scenes" person. Once I accepted this huge honor and responsibility, I started thinking and planning out introductions to songs, etc. I have this image in my head of people praying. But not just praying... I have this vision (for myself included) of entering into the Almighty Presence of the Father with open hands. This is something I picked up in college, where from time to time when I would pray, instead of kneeling or just closing my eyes, I would simply hold my hands out to signify to God that I was letting go, and/or willing to receive whatever He wanted to give to me, be it encouragement or command, conviction or revelation.

WHAT IF we lived our lives with open hands, every day? WHAT IF we were willing to accept conviction with the "Well done, good and faithful servant?" WHAT IF we allowed Jesus to transform us in such a way that people around us would be forced to notice a beautiful difference without us even saying a word?

Think about it! What would happen to our schools -- our nation -- our WORLD if we approached everyday with open hands?

I have been married for almost 2 years now, and anyone who has been married for a significant amount of time can attest that sometimes it is hard to live with another human being, no matter how deep your love and affection for them goes. I married Justin knowing that every morning I would choose  to love him. That was my promise. I don't have to.  I have free will and I choose to, just like Jesus chooses to love me, and because I am standing by my promise, God has grown my love for my husband everyday since the day I married him. That being said, if we are willing to choose our spouses and choose our places of employment, and for goodness sakes choose what we have for breakfast, can't we also choose to live our lives with open hands? Can't we choose to live our lives in complete surrender no matter the cost???

I think fear gets in the way of us opening our hands completely. I know it does for me. I don't want to go through hard stuff. I don't want my faith to be tested. I would really like an easy life (wouldn't we all?). But that's not how life is. If everyone's life were easy, then there would be no reason for us to need a Savior. I have found that in the trials in my life I am the most joyful, because I have seen different sides of God that I can't see when everything is easy, simply because I tend to fool myself that I can make it on my own.

No one will ever be perfect, this we know full-well. But I do believe that we can have flawless intentions. If we allow ourselves to be fully available, hands open wide, to our Creator, and allow Him to transform us, His Will will supercede ours. It won't matter what anyone else thinks about us, because He will make our paths straight, just like He promised.

So here's my next step: make daily decisions to open my hands to Jesus. It's quite simple, really.

Will you join me?